She text me last night and asked, "Ate, how do you get over a boy?"
It made me sad that she was going through something like that, but then I remembered every girl will in her life and I was thankful she entrusted me with the responsibility to help her out a little. So that's just the question, How do you get over a boy?
I told her its different for everyone. For me personally, I don't particularly get over people, I just simple have to move on. It's certainly a downfall of mine and I don't suggest anyone be like me in this aspect, but when I'm into someone, I'm full-fledged into them. I give all my feelings, and I give them too quickly. I'm very loyal when it comes down to that, so getting over people doesn't really happen for me. I explained to her that I learn to have a peace about not being with them.
She reminds me so much of myself so I let her know that she may not ever get over this boy, especially since he was the first boy she liked. It comes down to just keeping busy and staying focused. When another crush comes along the feelings for the first boy will diminish and when the right one comes along, she won't be consumed with having to get over anyone because it will just come naturally.
Something that I feel goes hand in hand with being able to get over someone is how much jealousy you harbor. Your jealousy will keep you somewhere longer than you want to stay. Her and I are both extremely jealous people. If your a jealous person, there is a lot in your heart you must work on- and it has to be daily and consistent. Personally, I ask God for self-confidence because my jealousy will usually stem from insecurities and comparison. Jealousy is an important thing to tackle as soon as possible because it is a slippery slope to hatred. But not only that, jealousy can/will ruin relationships and it's entirely unattractive. God can remove your jealousy and give you confidence in His will that He will give you the right man and confidence in yourself to know that you are perfectly made how you should be- completely and uniquely designed by God.
Your jealousy can also come from a lack of trust, not just lack of self-confidence. A lack of trust is going to strain any relationship you have.
We can all use our inability to get over someone, our lack of self-confidence and trust, and our jealousy as a spiritual thermometer for where we are in our walk with God. It's so peaceful knowing that when your walk with God is right and you're doing His will for this moment, that everything is going to fall into place as it should.
One of the last things I left my young friend with was that yes she knows everything she needs to do to move on from this boy, but she needs to apply it. It is one thing to have all the ingredients to make the best cupcakes, but its nothing if you don't put the ingredients together to make that cupcake. And I told her she just needs to apply it (put the ingredients together) and be the best cupcake she can be. Your future husband is counting on you right now to be the purest, best servant of God you can be. That means really working hard while you're single with no distractions.
And just like I said to her last night, I'm "preaching" to myself too. Like I said, her and I are a lot alike so this is something I have to daily work on. But I've learned first hand that giving your insecurities, boy situations, and lack of trust to God and applying what I already know to do, makes like a whole lot easier.